Archives: October 2002
Thu Oct 31, 2002
...oh to meet a witch in the dark woods!
found this one here
Trinity? Is that you?
[11] comments (209 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
a little fun....
and, here is one of my all time favorite bust-a-gut tunes! i just can't hear it without dancing!
HulaSong.wav (430k file)
[8] comments (196 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Wed Oct 30, 2002
remembering Halloweewee
then there was the Halloween that my elementary school had a costume parade at the school..
i was in the third grade and my mom had sent me to school with one of
those store bought costumes; black nylon jumpsuit with a screen printed
front and a plastic half-face mask. this year i was a cat. i remember
it soooo well.
the front of the jumper had a cats body printed on it, complete with a
tag the read, "fluffy." the mask had a kitten face (still the image i
conjure up when i here the word 'kitty') with printed whiskers and
black ears with pink insides.
the idea behind the parade was that all of us younguns would march
single file around the playground while the PE teacher and the English
teacher picked a winner for best costume. i really thought i had a
chance. i don't remember why, but somehow in my eight year-old mind, i
believed that my costume was really good. i even had discovered that if
i stuck my tongue through the little slit in the kitty mouth, then i
could make the mask swing side to side and surely THAT would attract
attention to me. so off i went, tied into the costume, tongue swinging
my little mask, as we paraded around the playground. meow!
then it began. from deep within me an abiding realization came. one
simple fact that brought unsettling and confusing choices to my mind: i
really needed to pee!
herein was my dilemma. 1. i didn't want to leave the parade AND my
chance to win the contest. 2. my mom had tied the string on the back of
my costume so tightly that i hadn't been able to untie it earlier. so,
i walked on. soon, my mask swinging was joined by a knock-kneed walk
and the growing demand for relief. at long last, the English teacher
blew her 'end-of-recess' whistle, and we were directed back to class to
await the announcement of the parade winner over the PA system. i
headed for the bathroom, like a cat for nip...
once there i began my struggle with the mother of knots (or was that my
mother's knot?). what i remember clearly is that moment, that instant,
when with crossed legs, dancing feet, stabbing pains in my groin, and
frantic fingers entwined in costume strings, i gave up
and...well...lets put it this way, Cat urine does stink!
oh yes! those wonderful memories of Halloween gone by!
[11] comments (268 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Tue Oct 29, 2002
Verbosity!
check out Dave's challenge
here's my effort:At the risk of uttering a verisimilitude, she was a
barbarous trollop living in Chesterfield prone to engage in evening
sexual exploits of grunion like proportions, whose sister was little
more than a scapegrace, a guttersnipe, with a jaunty attitude and the
appearance of one who had recently engaged in lycanthropy, and there
they were filthy and battered from their most recent fisticuffs.
[11] comments (216 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Fourth Step Meeting
last nights meeting focused on the topic "why work a fourth step?"
Step Four: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
for me, the fourth step was the first real step to freedom. it was
difficult to write down all of the mistakes and blunders that are a
part of my past. i didn't enjoy seeing the self-centeredness of my
disease: endless blaming of others (resentments), financial
irresponsibility, sexual indulgences, blatant disregard for others,
etc. but, my step work took me time and again with each revelation to
one truth...
More...
[11] comments (235 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Mon Oct 28, 2002
inbetween, there is joy
dusk and flickering candles. sensations of inbetween. gentle caresses
of the last vapors of yesterday's cookies, baked and eaten. a leaf
falling upward, riding on the breeze of summer's departure. too short
sleeves on my child's last winter's coat. missing hairs on my head,
again today. a random array of tubes and bottles clutter the bathroom
counter exactly as they did yesterday, and the years before.
another day clean. another wonderful day of Life. within my soul's chest, pounds the familiar rythum of joy and serenity.
[9] comments (236 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Fri Oct 25, 2002
The Gift - Chapter Nine
ok, so this latest addition to 'The Gift' is a bit short, but it does
move the story along a bit. someone asked me about the song at the end
of the last chapter. the song is 'The End', by The Doors and more of
it's lyrics appear here. For the full affect, you might want to listen
to the song, the music is indicative of the mood of the story as it has
evolved to this point.
Also, please be aware that what you are reading is basically a direct
stream from my mind to the words you find here. very little editing
and/or corrective thought has been applied up to this point.
i hope you enjoy
(if you haven't read chapters 1-7, linked to the right, and chapter 8 below...you might want to)
More...
[10] comments (235 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Thu Oct 24, 2002
Happy Almost Halloween!
Trinity
has issued a challenge to herself to post 31 entries on Halloween.
Heck, i don't know if i have 31 things in my mind on any given
day...but...hummm...maybe, just maybe!
[10] comments (245 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Wed Oct 23, 2002
Twilight Miracles
if there is any beauty in life it is this: that we can learn to give
of ourselves for the well being of another. the peculiar truth is that
in order to reach this place of creative wonder, we must first learn to
be there for ourselves.
my dear wifey settled into the bed with me last night. i had already
been there for a few minutes and was beginning to drift into that place
of delightful haze, that moment that bridges the two worlds of daily
existence and restful dreams. she lay her head on my shoulder and
cuddled next to me, her warmth adding to my already blissful level of
comfort. then i felt it. a slight change of temperature on my bare
shoulder, a touch of moisture, a tear.
i pulled her closer and strained against my urge and wish to surrender to sleep, and asked, "Is something wrong?"
"I'm just disappointed," she whispered.
More...
[12] comments (239 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Mon Oct 21, 2002
GO ME!
i'm energized! i have made a renewed commitment to my work at job #1.
times are really tight here at work, and last week the company manager
and i made an agreeement to work more closely together. i am turning in
a weekly Sales Goals sheet, and then using that today for planning my
work for the week. over the weekend i had some brain storms about how
to drum-up more sales, so i'm kinda jacked about it today.
i know i can do this!
[8] comments (219 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Fri Oct 18, 2002
What A Great Find!
for a real wonderfully creative recovery trip, check out Glow
[9] comments (212 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
another one bites the dust...
this morning we are putting our other Boston Terrier, Katie, to
'sleep.' A while back (i'm terrible with time) i had my male Boston put
down. That was a very difficult time for me. Today, i'm saddened by
Katie's death, but i'm not as torn up by it as i was before.
maybe it is because Katie isn't "my" dog, or because she came with the
marriage, .... but, in typical fashion, i find myself feeling guilty
that i'm not as upset about my wifey's dog dieing. i feeling bad
because of the way i'm feeling? argh! why do i always have to make it
about me?
so, this morning i'm becoming aware that what i need and want to do is
be supportive for wifey. today will be emotional for her. i want her to
know that i care and that i'm there for her if she needs me. i can do
this. for that i am greatful.
the kids all seem to be doing well with the event, and at least we still have Gizmo (my new dog) to enliven the household a bit. feelings all around.
More...
[8] comments (246 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Thu Oct 17, 2002
Facing Mistakes
Facing Mistakes
you came last night and took me
away from my joy
like a sword slicing within me
you stole every word
i don't know how to deal with you
so jagged and forlorn
my belly swells with feelings
my mind lost and torn
leave me alone
let me be
crying a scream, set me free
leave me, be gone
let me see
you are too damn real to leave
my mistakes, my mistakes
-Theo
[7] comments (253 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Tue Oct 15, 2002
The Gift...Chapter Eight
I'm writing on my 'story' again. If you have read chapters 1-7 of the
gift on the left side bar, you may be interested in this lastest
addition, Chapter 8.
More...
[7] comments (223 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Mon Oct 14, 2002
-->Single Minded Man -- Alien Women
i survived the weekend. whew!
woman are made of everlasting, forever enduring, power packing stuff.
in fact, i am beginning to believe females are aliens, or the superior
of the human species.
my wifey was away this weekend, in Texas (YeeHaww!!!!) for business. i
had responsibility for the three teens. yep. count um... one 13 year
old male, one 14 year old female, and one 15 year old female = three
active, purposeful (read pigheaded), aim manic, toxic to my serenity
teenagers! my entire weekend consisted of planning meals that they
didn't eat, directing them to clean up thier messes,
and..........DRIVING THEM TO FIFTEEN THOUSAND PLACES, and then picking
them back up again. More...
[6] comments (240 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Thu Oct 10, 2002
My Life and My Hope
i dont' want to feel, but it's coming.
the truth is i would vrey much like to shut down and just move through
the rest of my life without giving a damn! i have had several events
going on lately that i have feelings about, but have pushed to the back
and moved on to the next task...it's starting to trouble me, these
feelings, so i guess it is time to deal with them.
event 1: there is this sales person at job#2 that i'm really having
trouble dealing with. she is all smiles and politeness, and she is
stealing sales from me and others. what i mean is that she is overly
aggressive in taking on multiple customers without allowing other sales
folks a chance. AND, she will write up sales of other sales people in
her name when customers are returning to make a purchase after working
with someone else. this bothers me.
More...
[10] comments (242 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Tue Oct 08, 2002
diagnosis...too much acid (flash back?)
i had my 'endo' (that's medical people talk for endoscopy.
hehe...i'm getting so hip to all this doctor's jargon...:) today, and
i'm on my first post-recovery prescription. ugh.
it is really no biggie, just some medication to decrease the acid in my guts: Nexium.
i did good, again, with the meds i had to take and other than feeling a
little cotton-headed, having a sore throat and feeling tired, i'm back
to normal.
More...
[8] comments (248 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Fri Oct 04, 2002
Driving Teen Girls Past the Homeless Guy...
Each weekday morning i drive my daughter and her step-sister to school. The routine is pretty much the same. i down a cup of 'jo' on my way out the door, drive from my home to her mom's as i scan through the morning talk shows to see if there is a topic i want to listen to over paid egotistical morning show hosts rant on about... i arrive at my x-wife's home and out come the 'girls.' i say girls because they are not 18, yet. i say girls, eventhough they could pass for twenty. my daughter, now 15, plops down into the front seat and takes over the radio. More...
[10] comments (239 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Wed Oct 02, 2002
Sha-Zam!
saw this quote on "Leaving Normal" and found myself echoing a resounding, "Yes!"
"The role of religion is not to help one side win the battle. The
role of religion is to lift us above the battlefield. The role of
religion is to lift us to the level of consciousness where we see that
beyond this drama being played out, of us versus them; beyond this
drama being played out of hatred and separation, there is a truer
truth. And the truer truth is that we all love each other, whether we
know it or not."
-Marianne Williamson
[8] comments (217 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Pain, Faith and Gentle Walking
another day alive. another day clean. another day with back pain. ugh!
yesterday morning i was washing the dishes and my back went into
spasum. this happens from time to time, but it has been quite a while
since i've been in this kind of pain. it hurts.
i'm disappointed. i have felt so wonderfully healthy since i started
exercising and watching my diet. i thought that maybe i had corrected
this problem by getting more physically fit. but, here it is again.
i'm anxious. this is day two and there are several things i really want
to do, but don't feel up to it. i'm at work and sitting here at my desk
or going out driving in the car is very uncomfortable. and, i have to
work tonight at job #2...standing on my feet all evening.
More...
[8] comments (249 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks