Archives: January 2003
Fri Jan 31, 2003
Two New Features...
I've added (with the guidance of Trinity) two new features to this little blog. On the right you will find link buttons for Dogma.
If you are so inclined, they are yours to use. On the left side bar I
have added a section for featuring some poetry. Unless otherwise noted,
it is my original work and i would be delighted for you to respect all
of the appropriate creative boundaries...i.e. no stealing unless you
let me know!
That’s all for now... Thanks for sharing in my life by dropping by my blog.
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Wed Jan 29, 2003
Several Unrelated Thoughts...Obituary, Free Poetry, Theo Kids, Work Moves On, and Family Matters
Wifey left a section of the paper at my place on the table. Circled
were the following words: "Mr. Thomas Lee Pinkney, 66, separated from
his painful body and this carnal world Saturday 25, 2003..." What an
epitaph... I mean, really, it makes me wonder what lies behind such an
emphatic statement. It is probably just as well that I don't know.
I've been saving a book that I received at Christmas time. It was a
gift from the church I attended. Susan and Stephen Shutz, creators and
maintainers of Blue Mountain Arts, have complied a book of her poetry and his paintings in order to share their commitment to peace. The book, One World, One Heart, is available for free at www.sps.com.
Susan's poetry is wonderfully simple, and although it is carried on an
elementary style, conveys a precise message of compassion and love.
Stephen's art is a wonderful blend of creativity and pastel
watercolors. I have found it a basic and refreshing reminder of the
spiritual principles that matter to me.
Just for grins and giggles, I’ve posted a picture of my two kids on the
right side bar. I don't think any of you are really interested in
seeing them on your visits to Theophany, but I truly like seeing their
smiling faces here throughout the day.
More...
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Mon Jan 27, 2003
Morning Mind Wanderings...
I had a good weekend. Had a nice walk with Ms. Theo. i enjoyed watching
the Bucs win yesterday. I’m always up for an underdog victory.
Strange thoughts ran through my head this morning. I’m standing in the
kitchen, sipping a cup of ‘English Breakfast Tea,’ and I start thinking
that medical terms make the best names for rock groups.
Spastic Colon
Thrombosis
Myocardial Infarction
Chronic Reflux
Internal Hemorrhage
Visceral Mesentery
Routine Exam
MRI
Sub-dermal Hemotoma (sp?)
I’m sure there are others. Any suggestions?
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Fri Jan 24, 2003
An Accident
A short while back, one of my friends was driving from one city to
another for a business trip. In his vehicle were three coworkers. The
weather was very bad. Snow was falling and the roads were icy. He lost
control of the vehicle and it slid into oncoming traffic, was hit by a
Semi truck broadside. All three of his passengers were killed. He was
injured, but is expected to recover fully.
This tragic accident brings to mind a number of critical thoughts.
First, is anyone really to blame? Quick answer: No. Too many simple
events arranged into a precise series of connecting moments lead up to
this accident. Although any one of those events, if altered, could have
resulted in a totally different outcome (perhaps even more tragic) we,
as human beings are not able to foresee such consequences, and are thus
not to 'blame' for such accidents. We can be careful, and intentional.
We cannot control the world around us.
Second, I feel for my friend’s grief and hurt. He is a recovery
addict/alcoholic, like me. In some ways, recovery better equips us for
dealing with such life events. Drinking and drugging solves nothing. A
good recovery program entails a good system of support. He can use his
new found way of life to deal with the natural process of grief and
healing. Grief is a natural process. The trick is to keep the process
moving along and not get stuck in denial, anger, etc. How we do this
certainly varies. I wish him Godspeed on his journey.
Finally, at the risk of sounding insensitive, my awareness of the
preciousness and frailty of all of our lives makes me truly grateful
for my life and the lives of my loved ones today. I can feel my heart
beating in my chest a bit more strongly. I linger as I watch my wife
eating her breakfast, noticing the lines of her smile and the manner of
her movements. The cell phone bill doesn't seem as critical today, as I listen to my daughter's laughter on the phone.
I am content to be alive today. Perhaps all of the life that continues
today, the normal, mundane, routine of our existence is as much of an
accident as anything else. Perhaps, just maybe, the miracle comes when
we are able to see past that series of simple daily events and view the
wondrous gift of another day.
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Thu Jan 23, 2003
quick blogging entry...Theo's World Episode 9836
snow - four inches
temp - 20 degrees and falling
work, job #1 - moving to new office today
home - dealing with money 'issues'
blog - making some sidebar changes
kids - out of school NOT talking on cell phones
i really need to post on: a dear friend's recent accident in which
three occupants of his vehicle were killed. he lived. be back later.
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Tue Jan 21, 2003
OMG!
i made a big misjudgement. really, really big.
for Christmas, i gave my kids cell phones. they are 13 and 15. i
signed them up for a crap load of minutes. i got the first bill today.
my question is: is it against the law if you kill you kids by shoving a
cell phone up their......?
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Mon Jan 20, 2003
a statement worth pondering
All things that are,
Are with more spirit chased than enjoy'd.
How like a younker or a prodigal
The scarfed bark puts from her native bay,
Hugg'd and embraced by the strumpet wind!
How like the prodigal doth she return,
With over-weather'd ribs and ragged sails,
Lean, rent, and beggar'd by the strumpet wind!
-William Shakespeare,
The Merchant of Venice
if you are interested in some thoughts based on today's Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday, check out today's DOGMA entry: "Against The Grain."
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Sat Jan 18, 2003
Extraordinary
It’s been a good day. I’ve mostly been driving kids and doing small
jobs around the house. There really isn’t anything out of the ordinary
going on. I guess that is the good news. Today, my life is ordinary. In
fact, I’d go so far as to say that my life is extra-ordinary.
I’m very glad to have an ordinary life, today.
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Thu Jan 16, 2003
Windows 98, 2000, ME, XP, to the Soul?
A blip on the normalcy screen has been detected in blog land. In what
is now old news (i.e. more than ten minutes old in the cyber world), Robyn
called for a bloglovefest. I’ve spent several hours over the last few
days reading various bloggers entries and following links from blog to
blog. The entries vary, as much as the style of the bloggers across
this world, but the single unifying intent seems to be an honest effort
to write an affirmation of another blogger. The entries range from
“Thanks dude” to “You are my ultimate love”.
For me, the single most significant observation here is this: blogging truly affects lives.
More...
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Wed Jan 15, 2003
Ms. Tex-ass!
m going to work at job#2 tonight. lately i have really resisited going there. here's the reason.
there's this sales woman, Ms. Texas. Ms. Texas hails from, you guessed
it, Texas, where everyone knows that everything is bigger, better,
superior than everywhere else. So is she. ARGH!
She is simply an employee of this place, as i am, but she behaves as if
she owned the place. i know i sound juvenile here, and i know that
there is a higher spiritual plain from which the upcoming ravings can
be redeemed, and i know that I AIN'T THERE, YET!
maybe writing this will help.
More...
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Tue Jan 14, 2003
Theo's world: Episode 2871, Cravings
just another day in Theo's world.
meeting last night was good. a newcomer came up to me after the meeting
and quoted back to me something i had shared last week. i must admit,
it did my ego a little bit of good, but, i know the truth, all i had
said was something that i had heard in the rooms of recovery:
"Awareness without surrender sucks!" humm..doesn't sound very profound
now. i guess you had to be there. seriously, it amazes me at how God
works within those meetings. no matter who is there, and no matter what
is shared, i always leave with something i needed to hear. guess that's
why after over three years i keep coming back.
results are slow in coming here at job#1. i make sales calls daily to
new customers and then try to cultivate business. it can take months to
get the first order form a new customer. i'm more of the GIVE ME THE
ORDER NOW kinda guy. (trying to put a positive spin on things) this job
is a good way for me to practice delayed gratification...that or go
crazy!
i've been wanting to write some more on The Gift, but alas, time and energy are at a premium. soon, though, soon.
just a few more words and i'm done here...
More...
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Mon Jan 13, 2003
lunch break...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
anyone want a dog? Gizmo woke me up at 2:00 am this morning. i ignored
him. being the Master, i figured he would just go back ot sleep. and,
he did...for fifteen minites, at which time he got back up, and woke me
up again. so, being the smarter than the dog human...i ignored him. he
walked circles on the bed and went back to sleep...for 15 mins.
thus the cycle went from 2 until 4:15 am. at which time wifey ended our
mano-dogo struggle with the comment, "I'm not sure which one of you i'm
going to kill first."
i got up. fed the dog, and let him out...and we went back to bed.
note to self: don't match wills with a small, empty stomached,
full bladdered canine at 2 in the morning...especially if the Alpha
Female is trying to sleep....
buuuurrrrrrr...it was cold in Theo's bed this morning!
btw, there's a new post here: Dogma
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Sun Jan 12, 2003
end to a perfect day...
what a wonderful day, yesterday. Ms. Theo and i visited witha long term
friend in the mountains of NC. we took in the vistas, spoke of things
spiritual, laughed, laughed alot, and i helped our friend set up her
digital camera.
the picture above is taken from her front porch. i emailed to myself so i could post it today.
now it's time to get ready for work at job#2. argh! i really don't want to go...don't wanna, don't wanna, i tell you!
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Sat Jan 11, 2003
sunny and cold! let's hike.
...off for a half-day hike in the NC hills with Ms. Theo. i'll be back this evening for continued blogging fun!
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Fri Jan 10, 2003
walk the Dogma?
part of the new update to Theophany is the addition of a Spiritual Reflections section called Dogma. Drop by for a visit.
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Thu Jan 09, 2003
...and it is very good!
more than words can say, i am please with the layout that has come from Trinity's
creative mind and skill. i believe this look fits me well and the setup
will allow for me to move forward with what i have in mind for www.theophany.us
thank you, Trinity, my friend. your talent is showing.
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Nicely Written, Thoughtful
Below you will find the text of an email that i received from a family
member. It is a fairly long article. It is also a wonderfully
thoughtful commentary on two current 'blockbuster' movies and how they
reflect two variant perspectives on why humans war.
Enjoy.
More...
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She is Beautiful...
i wish i had been wrong. i wish i did not find myself here today writing about this.
about four months ago my youngest step-daughter, 'Teener', a 15 year
old, 5’6’’, athletic, Cheerleader, A+ student decided to go on a diet.
she had been fighting some 'pudginess' (in her opinion) over the past
two or so years. if you had seen her at anytime during her life, you
would have never classified her as 'fat', but being the teen she is,
like most, she is worried about her weight. so, like i said, about four
months ago, she went on a diet.
i say 'diet' for lack of a better term. she didn't go on any one
particular program. i saw her stop all drinks but water. i watched as
she ate mouse sized portions at breakfast (half a bagel or half a
yogurt cup). i witnessed her pack one banana or a 'health' bar for
lunch. i heard her constantly skipping or trying to skip dinner. over
the weeks i saw her turn her nose up at some of her formally favorite
foods. she changed. my gut told me that she had more going on than just
a diet. in the last month she has said over and over, "I think eating
is gross."
this child that once weighed 140+lbs, now weighs less than 128lbs. she
is moody, distant, and obsessive about NOT eating. when we have spoken
to her about it she get very defensive and withdraws.
her mother spent some time with her last evening. she decided to lay
down some rules and consequences about Teener's eating. while leaving
plenty of room for her to eat moderately and even encourage her to
exercise (which she has not been doing, and i believe is too weakened
to do) her mother set some guidelines. Teener was angry and resistant.
her mother said it this morning, "She has an eating disorder. Pray for her."
More...
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Wed Jan 08, 2003
say you care...
Brad is sick and feeling unloved. Why not take you little mouse over there and brighten his day!?
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Tue Jan 07, 2003
in the Future...
Trinity has been hard at work on a new design for theophany.us. i have seen the first set of graphics and i am more than pleased! i am overwhelmed, touched.
it amazes me how she has captured the essence of all that i want here
in such a simple and beautiful layout. if you ever need any such work
done, send her a big fat check and turn her creativity loose on your
site. soon you too will see what i mean.
The day is coming, and is not very far off, when Theophany will rise and take flight!
stay tuned!
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Seven Wonders
Someone sent this to me recently. Find below a list of the Seven
Wonders of the World. Before you click on 'more', take a moment and
think of your choices...Great Wall?, Pyramids?, Taj Mahal?
Well, here's a list that i like. Wish I had thought of it!
More...
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Mon Jan 06, 2003
The Words of the Prophets are written...
Mandarin design writes about wonderful application of some very old lyrics. Go here and read down about the Sounds of Silence...hang in there, the last line is poignant!
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I am a salesman!
It is a fresh new week and as I walk into work, past the unfinished
sheet rock walls, bare concrete floors and dust covered tarps covering
fax machines and copiers, i am aware of impending new beginnings. The
construction here at the offices of Job #1 serve as a paradigm of sorts
for the equally new and rough perspective that abides within me today.
I've mentioned before that I have a renewed interest in my work here.
It is really more than that. What seems to have happened is that
somewhere between Thanksgiving and the New Year, I find myself at peace
today with who I am and what I am doing. For the better part of four
years, i have been ashamed to say, "I'm a salesman." The collective
emotional baggage and spiritual tension that has plagued me during the
past few years, seems to have subsided. My identity, for 15 years, was
wrapped up in being a pastor.
Being a pastor was a safe, honorable, protected label. Most people
where willing to offer a certain amount of instant respect and honor to
me, simply because of that vocation. When I left the ministry (a direct
result of my active addiction to hydrocodone) I felt lost. Along with
the practical loss of employment, the stigma of drug addiction, and the
destruction of my fabricated self image, came the struggle with my
identity. For most of my adult life I had been known to myself as a
preacher.
More...
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Sun Jan 05, 2003
Truth? Fiction? A Bunch of Crap?
from a recent email i have the words of wisdom below...
"In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything was transported by ship. It was
also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure
were common.
In dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea)
hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began
again, of which a by-product is methane gas.
As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and
did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time
someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just
what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped
with the term "S.H.I.T" on them which meant to the sailors to "Ship High In
Transit." In other words, high enough off the lower decks so that any water
that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the
production of methane.
You probably did not know this true history of the word.
Neither did I. I always thought it was a golf term."
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Sat Jan 04, 2003
Buffett At Last!
Thanks to a Christmas gift from my wife, we are going to a Jimmy
Buffett concert in February, 2003! i may be the luckiest man alive...
i've been a fan of Buffett since the mid seventies. i've never been to
one of his concerts. his music was a regular staple of my turntable, 8
track and cassette tape players (long before the days of CDs). i'm not
sure why i have enjoyed his music so consistently over the years. it
certainly isn't music of high moral themes, or lofty idyllic truths.
cheese burger in paradise?!
i believe what i enjoy most is his wonderful ability to create stories
and images in his songs: stories that make me laugh at myself and often
point out the absurdity of human nature through a curiously creative
whit. maybe it is because we have aged together. makes no
difference...i think i'll go listen to Fruit Cakes!
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Thu Jan 02, 2003
A Dream
i just read where Grace had a powerful dream last evening.
i am always moved and amazed by that place of twilight sleep. that
moment when we shift into another realm, of sorts...where control is
turned over to another manifestation of ourselves and we discover
wonder and horror. i always return to this life of choice and
awareness, however...at least thus far.
a dream
soft clouds of unknowing
drifting awareness of twilight
moments of passion, pain
find us and lead us home
again
-theo
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Ganglion
with the intensity of over stimulated ganglion, i begin my new quest for success here at Job #1.
--grins ear to ear--
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