Archives: May 2003
Fri May 30, 2003
A Brief Infomercial?!
This logo, taken from a popular car site, looks a great deal like the
NA symbol. Well at least it does to me. Anyway, the colors work so well
with my site, I couldn't resist posting it.
Now, back to your regularly scheduled blogging...
[3] comments (221 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Less than six degress from..?
Was beginning my blog reading today and started over at Susan's blog. What a surprise to see her link to a NC local paper's article
that quotes her on the nature and value of blogging. What an even
greater surprise to find a link to my blog listed at the tail end of
the article. Ha. Linked at the tail end...that's me!
I'm infamous already! Thanks for the 'nod' Susan.
[4] comments (193 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Thu May 29, 2003
Something of a breakthrough...
Sitting at my mother-out-law's 82nd birthday celebration tonight I had
a bit of a break through. Following an extremely frustrating day at
work I was at my proverbial 'wits end.' Tonight I sat and talked with a
couple (long term freinds of my wife's and more recent freinds of mine)
with whom I share much in terms of spiritual perspective.
Building upon the idea of
teaching a weekly bible study, we began to explore an expansion of that
idea into something of a society of equals dedicated to furthering each
others spiritual journey. As we spoke, I felt something that I haven't
felt in a long time. I felt the urges of passion and interest in
something...I felt alive.
It appears that many of my online friends here (thanks John for the emails) and others in the physical world are right... my spirit knows where my life should go...
It is a start. It is a start for which I am truly greatful.
[12] comments (216 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Tue May 27, 2003
Cold, Wet, Blanket of Sorrow...
For the last three days I have been fighting the pull of self loathing
and depression. I find myself looking for distractions from my
feelings: thinking of buying stuff, flirting, critical comments about
others, acting out in anger, driving more aggressively, etc.... I find
myself 're-membering' (literally, piecing together the dismembered
parts of my past) the events of my past that have brought loss, chaos
and shame upon me and hurt others. I am recalling again the fall from
grace, that plummeting downward from the joy of the pulpit to the
despair of wandering without a call, vocation-less meanderings, the
walk in the fog...
Times like these are dangerous times for me. I know this will pass,
yet, it seems as if my life had hit the skids. The old voice cries,
"You ain't shit. You ain't never gonna be shit. Who gives a shit?!"
Just for today, I choose to believe there is value in the moments of
this day, and in the choices I will make. I pledge to move through this
day as gently and lovingly as I can, even though such movement finds me
deeply mired in an archaic sorrow that is beyond comprehension...
Not good.
"I look to the heavens, from whence does my help come...?"
[16] comments (219 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Sun May 25, 2003
Happy Birthday Sis!
Today, May 25th, is my sister's birthday. I wont tell you how old she is, but I will tell you that she is OLDER than me (that's older, ancient, been around a long time, archaic even!). Drop by her journal and give her some consolation, after all...she is getting OLDER!
[11] comments (171 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Fri May 23, 2003
Meaningless Humor
1. How Do You Catch A Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch A Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path.
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit A Concrete Wall? Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's
7. What Do You Call A Boomerang That Doesn't work? A Stick.
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Sinko.
11. What Do You Get From A Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross A Snowman With A Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef!
15. Where Do You Find A Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? Sanka.
19. What Is The Difference Between A Harley And A Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
21. What's The Difference Between A Bad Golfer And A Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
22. How Are A Texas Tornado And A Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.....
Now, admit it. At least one of these made you smile! Have a great day!
[13] comments (215 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Wed May 21, 2003
A Familiar Demand on My Soul
For the last few weeks I have been feeling a familiar tug on my spirit. For some time now I have struggling with wanting to return to some form of ministry. Although I have tried several venues, I have yet found a denomination that would/could utilize me for preaching/teaching/pastoring. The reasons are all wrapped up in religious polity and personal limitations, but nonetheless, I still long for an outlet for my ministry. I truly miss preaching and teaching on a weekly basis. A few posts ago I described a level of sacred commitment. The times I have best known this moment, are when I was preaching and teaching. Again, I miss that Divine moment... More...
[16] comments (206 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Tue May 20, 2003
Today ought to be interesting...
You know you are going to have an interesting day when you arrive at
the office and because someone has changed the 'Muzik", the first three
songs you hear are by Tom Jones, Engelbert Humperdinck, and Glenn
Campbell. What is even more frightening...I recognise these artists!
--changes station to 'Hits FM'--
Now playing: Counting Crows, "Yellow Taxi"
More...
[10] comments (218 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Mon May 19, 2003
The Lastest on The Gift...11 & 12
I have returned to my writing, again. Find below Chapters 11 and 12 of the Novel in Progress, "The Gift."
If you want more, you can read what has happened previously here.
A ravenous hunger awakened me. A hunger that screamed from everywhere
within me, ripped me from my sleep and in one swift and powerful move,
I leapt to my feet. I felt a slight tug at my wrists and ankles. One
glance down revealed the remains of metal and leather shackles dangling
from my feet. Instinctively, I stood crouched, arms held out from my
sides, knees bent, my legs flexed ready to…. What was I ready to do? My
mind struggled to get hold of my situation. Questions filtered through
the demands of my body’s appetite.
More...
[14] comments (209 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Sun May 18, 2003
Thought of you...
I was out walking the dogma tonight and I thought of you!
[9] comments (224 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Fri May 16, 2003
When?
When was the last time you found yourself totally invested? That
time and place when every twitch of your body, every thought drifting
to only one place, every song reminding you of a solitary purpose, not
an image of anything unrelated appearing in your mind's eye, that
moment when you have no doubts, no reservations about your purpose and
role in time and the very will of God is pulsing through your veins...
I've been to that sacred place before. I want to go again.
[15] comments (204 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Wed May 14, 2003
A Gentle Stroke of God's Hand Upon My World
There are times when I fail to stop and note the joys of my life. Tonight is not one of those times.
Eyelashes tickling my cheek and gentle kisses
The smell of honeysuckle blooms on a warm spring evening
Velvet warmth of puppy ears, nuzzled against my nose
A sly smile on my wife’s knowing face
Laughter of my daughter, following a dumb-blond moment
My son saying, “I love you.”
Being called ‘Turtle’
The spent feeling after making love
Muscles swollen from a good workout
The taste of warm, homemade chocolate cake
Possibilities reborn through a possible new job
Wind through the windows and sunroof while driving the car
The cool wave of pure water rolling in my mouth and down my throat
Sleep settling into my body and mind, vanquishing the day
The Divine’s touch during prayer
Writing this entry and feeling grateful for my life…
[11] comments (182 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
The Job of Life?
I've had it with this job, so I'm off to a job interview this morning.
More sales. I'll gather some information and see what they have to
offer.
Thanks for all of your concerns regarding Gizmo. He has had a tough go
of it. He seems to be recovering well, but, there is a chance he may
have some permenate tissue loss at and around the site of the bite. He
was jumping, playing and chewing his bone yesterday. Today he seems to
be moving kinda slow. I think he 'over did it' yesterday.
Observation: I have been very emotional over this snake-bitten dog
thing. I'm not sure why, but Gizmo rests deeply in my heart, and the
thought of his suffering and the possiblity of loosing him has struck
me with deep feelings: anger, fear, longing.... There is something here
for me to learn. As soon as I have a chance to settle into the
feelings, maybe I'll get the lesson. Life is work, a job even.
Well, off to the interview. More later.
[9] comments (229 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Mon May 12, 2003
Quadruple Ouch
Ouch #1 – I didn’t get to talk to Mom yesterday. Something just isn’t
right not being able to speak to her. I called my mom yesterday. She
was out on the town, partying, drinking, rable rousing and throwing
down. Well, I don’t know this to be factual, but, you know how mothers
are, and since she didn’t answer the phone, I can only imagine. --evil
grin-- HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MOM!
Ouch #2 - I hurt myself Saturday. Somehow in the process of mowing and
trimming the yard I pulled my shoulder. Today the thing hurts (pardon
the contextual pun) like a mother! I’m limiting myself to ibuprofen for
the discomfort. I have to live within the limits of recovering addict
behavior, i.e. non-narcotic pain treatments. If my shoulder doesn’t
feel better tomorrow I’m heading to the doctor. Ugh. The good news is I
can live with this pain for a while, although driving and shifting is a
bit tricky. Ouch.
Ouch #3 – Almost tragically, my dog, Gizmo, was bitten by a copperhead
snake late Saturday. I rushed him to the vet and after a few shots; Dr.
Vet said it would be a “wait-and-see” thing. Giz had some severe
swelling in his face, and comically, developed a swelling under his
neck that made him look like the canine version of Men In Black II’s
‘ballchinniein’ alien. He seems to be recovering from the bite slowly
and is a bit perkier each day. Baring any internal complications, I
guess he will be ok. Strange thing: we have lived here four years and
never seen a copperhead, but in the last week, I have killed two on our
back porch. Both snakes have been over 18 inches long; not juveniles.
We will not be letting the dogs run free in the back yard for a while.
Dang. Can’t even be safe in your own back yard! At least it wasn’t one
of the human ‘pets’ that got bitten. Ouch.
Ouch #4 – I’m really frustrated at work. After spending six months
selling a new customer on one of our services, Management has reviewed
the contract and decided to make some changes. I am now required to go
back to my customer and inform then that we cannot do what I have been
telling them we would do, but rather must offer only a small portion of
the services they want. This will be offered to them at the same high
price, of course. Isn’t life grand? –sigh—
Note to self: meeting, sponsor, steps...don't pick up!
[15] comments (261 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Fri May 09, 2003
Pouring Coffee
Humans are amazingly creative and inventive creatures. We can send
probes to Mars. We can clone mammals. Probing the depths of the sea and
the human psyche are normal activities each day. Why can't someone make
a damn coffee pot that doesn’t drip down the dang side and on to the
counter?
And, good morning to you! --grrr--
[15] comments (215 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Wed May 07, 2003
Vapid, simply, vapid.
I'm feeling today. It seemed to arise out of the fatigue of last
evening's romp on the computer. There I was, eyes staring catatonically
at the pixels and flashes of my favorite PC game, and tha-u-ummpp: the
mood descended. I'm not sure what to call it. Depression? Nope.
Fatigue? Sorta, but its more emotional than that. I sorta feel...
well... like my dog looks when I give him a bath. You know, that "I'm
uncomfortable with this whole scenario, but willing to be submissive
because this is just the way things are and maybe I’ll get fed and
petted later" kind of look?
Yep that's it. I'm feeling vapid: lacking in spirit, lifeless, dull.
It is one of those days when nothing is especially wrong, but, --heavy
sigh-- it ain't all good either. Well, I guess it is all good - I'm
just not 'in touch' with that reality.
More...
[14] comments (240 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Mon May 05, 2003
Birthday Events
I'm in a rush this morning, but I wanted to get this post up.
My birthday was eventful. I was forced off the road at 60 mph by
another driver in the midst of his road rage. It hailed ice the size of
quarters. I stepped onto our back pourch to find a two foot long
copperhead just a few inches from my feet. Yet, the 'cherry on the
cake' of my day was this: wifey and step-daughter, Teener, gave me the
most unusual gift:
More...
[16] comments (251 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Fri May 02, 2003
May 2, 1958
All together now... "Go Theo. It's ya birthday. Let's party like it's your birthday..."
Another year bites the dust, and I must say that I am glad to see another year awaiting.
Observations:
1. i really don't remember what i was doing this day last year (i'll have to check my blog).
2. i am in better shape physically than i was last year
3. i have a bit more money in the bank than i did 365 days ago.
4. i've been to Las Vegas this past year
5. my kids are older, wiser, and making me proud
6. i will celebrate today by exercising and eating cake.
7. i have more friends than i did last year.
8. in the past 12 months, my dog died and i have a new wonderfully peppy doggy, Gizmo
9. i'm still clean and sober
More...
[12] comments (203 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
Thu May 01, 2003
Honestly!
I went to the bank yesterday, twice.
My wifey handles our money. It is just NOT a good thing for me to
handle money. I'm good at making money. I'm good at spending money,
too. So, each month she 'bills' me for our living expenses, savings,
bills, etc., and i pay her a lump sum. That usually leaves me broke.
This is a good thing.
So, yesterday, I went to the bank and withdrew the amount of the
current 'bill.' As usual, the teller, who knows me well, and I were
chatting as she cashed my check.
Ms. Teller: "Man we had a problem with the ATM this morning. It wouldn't dispense funds."
Theo: "Ouch. I watched a movie last night; my step-daughter had rented
it. I think it was called Barber Shop, anyway, there was this funny
story line in it about two guys who stole a free standing ATM from a
convenience store. They spent the entire film trying to get into the
thing, and the funny thing was, they had stolen it before the store had
a chance to put any money in the thing.
Ms Teller: --chuckle, chuckle-- "Here you go. Theo. Is there anything else, today?"
Theo: "That's it. See you next week."
More...
[8] comments (198 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks