Happy Birthday Female Theo Progeny

Today is my daughter's 16th Birthday. She is a light, a joy, a wonderful young lady. I am overwhelmingly proud of her. She is away at a Christian work-volunteer camp today, so i'll miss seeing her on this special day. Yet, what more could a parent want than a child who takes time from the summer fun to help those less fortunate than themselves. Somethings are just right.

Happy Birthday Sweetie!!!

When Women Sponsor NASCAR?

Determination

I'm not making another post until I get at least three comments on the last one.

CRAP! I just posted. Nevermind.

And so, here's some fun...

RIDDLE:

Schwartzenegger has a big one
Michael J. Fox has a small one
Madonna doesn't have one
The Pope has one but doesn't use his
Clinton uses his all the time
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one
Liberace never used his on women
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi's
What is it?
More...

Sighing Time

Breathe. Breathe. I am having to remind myself to breathe today...not your regular ‘get that small bit of oxygen in your lungs’ kind of breath, but those deep 'holy shit..hold on...i can do this,’ kind of deep gasping breaths.

Several projects here at work are coming unraveled, making much of last week's frantic work-a-thon seem for naught. So, I’m faced with doing the customer service/relations thing today to try and salvage several orders. Theo has to make a buck.

And, today I hate this job. It isn't that the job is really hard, or demanding, or demonic... I just want to be doing something else, something more...more...more, well...more engaging...no that doesn't say it...crap.
More...

--sigh--

went to church. i miss preaching.

Heads a Talking and Stars a Shinning...

Ms Theo and I joined a friend last evening at SECCA for the first of their films in the summer series "Stars Under the Stars," movies outside on the lawn. After a few technical delays, we saw Talking Heads performance art film, "Stop Making Sense."

What a trip. We did leave early. Ms. Theo seemed to be having a bit of trouble following the lyrics and intent of the songs. To tell the truth, other than their few top 40 hits, I've not paid much attention to Talking Heads. Judging from what I saw last night, they bring a poetic, high energy, performance art, paradigm breaking performance to the stage. I liked it.

Look! It's UnderBlog!

Found myself listed over at LivingRoom as a part of Darren's lastest project to connect bloggers. It is a kind of "Pay It Forward" approach to blog promotion. I did a bit of underblog searching and landed on Adam's blog. Drop by and see Adam, and find there a man dealing with his own journey.

Now, what else was it I was going to say???... More...

Must See!

Went to see Whale Rider over the past weekend. There has not been a richer, more splendid and touching film in a very long time.

My heart was broken. My hope renewed. My tears flowed.

Inside Theo, episode 665

The darkness is blinding. That which eternally stalks in that thin shadow, the wisp of amber as the light goes out, stirs. I smell it, him. The fragrance of stale breath, parched lips held together with that milky viscous paste. He is as close as the skin as it peels from the serpent's frame.

"Do you bring my death," I ask?

silence. he breathes, raspy tones of arythmic convulsions.

"What do you want," I scream? With that primal shout I empty my very soul. Spent.

nothing but the smell and the embers of night answer.

"I'm tired. I'm going to sleep," Through the now dry tears, I speak as much to myself as anyone, resigned to surrender all. Die.

"Me , too," the vapors reply.

"Goodnight," I think aloud?

"See you there," comes the reply.

And I know from the gurgling sound, he is smiling.

New Bike- Materialism Strikes Theo, Again

Due to some wheeling (pun intended) and dealing on my part, I've aquired a new 'mountain bike' from one of our local dealers. Short version, they needed some of what I'm selling and I wanted one of their bikes.

I hope to get out and ride early this evening. There is a wonderful trail here.

Thoughtful, Playful Sayings

Zen thoughts............................

- Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

- A day without sunshine is like, night.

- On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Want some more? More...

Something comes...

Well, work is over for the day, our evening of celebration at dinner is done and I've finished my wieght lifting for the night. I'm tired. There is more. More...

Nine Years of Commitment

Nine years ago today, Ms. Theo and I were married. In some ways it seems like yesterday, that or fifty years.

She is still my light and love.

Her youngest daughter is taking us to dinner to celebrate tonight. Life is good at home. More...

Rock On Baby!

This morning, while riding the exercise cycle and watching VH1, playing it loud. Something appeared on the screen that grab me by my masculinity, shook me, and left me pining... More...

Writer's Prompt - Paradise Found?

Daily exercise from Grimsoft.com: “Imagine a hidden cove, accessible only by boat. Write a 75-100 word description of it.”

There is no in-between here. The heavens flow directly from the tops of the cliffs; down their slick rock faces to the scant beach and into the sea. This island, this idyllic wasteland of sea and mountain is my prison. Each day, my eyes open to view the most serene of vistas; sky the color of Maria’s baby blue eyes, with surf’s rhythm as gentle as her lovers touch. Each day I stand here with my back to the wall of stone that wraps around this small beach, a horseshoe shaped prison cradling a small strip of sand, open to the eternal sea. A few twisted, weather worn scrubs dare to grow here; one there along the lowest ridge, another here cowering where sand meets rock, there another. There’re shells: Shells for bowls, shells for knives, shells for stacking into little piles, spelling out HELP along the shore. The sun shines unrelentingly today. The rain will come. The winds will wail. I do not know if I can survive another month or week. How long has it been?

There is no in-between, here.

Happy Anniversary Theophany!

A rush of celebrations. Four days ago I celebrated 4 years of clean time, living drug free. The 17th of this month is my nineth wedding anniversary. Ms. Theo and I celebrated this past weekend. Today is Kimberly's 4 year clean date.

and...

Today marks a one year spand of time since my first post here at theophany.us. What a journey this year has been. I owe a great deal to Trinity for grabbing the domain for me, designing the site and maintaining things here. Thanks Ms. Trinity!

Over the past year I have gone through three desigin changes before settling on this one. You can see a bit of the old here-->
and here.

Some posts that stand out for me are listed here:

Loss
Pain
Gain
Some Poetry
Howling
True Love
No Drugs
Dogma's Rise
Blog Poetry
Writing
Meaning

I blog because it helps me stay connected with me, and it allows me to join in the thoughts and life events of others around the world. Thank you for being here with me. Namaste'.

Where Is The Love???

Yesterday the sun’s force beat down on me. Every fiber of my being ached from the heat as the sweat continued to pour. I was really thirsty. Ms. Theo walked out onto the front porch with a large cup and motioned to me. I stopped walking and stood under the shade of the giant maple in our front yard, letting the mower idle in front of me. I reached out my hand toward her and she walked over, cup in hand. As she approached I felt a little playful spirit rise within me, so when she arrived with my water, I reached toward it, past the cup and touched her boob with my finger tips. She step back from me and frowned. I laughed and took the cup.

The water was ice cold as it ran down my throat and its refreshment lifted my spirits even more, I passed the cup back to her and leaned in for a kiss. Ms. Theo gave me that “Yuck! You’re hot, stinky and sweaty” look, but reluctantly gave me a little obligatory peck on the lips.

“Hey,” I shouted over the roar of the mower, as she walked back to the door, “where’s the love!?”

She just smiled and pointed to the cup of water that she held in her hand. I laughed.

We celebrated our nine year anniversary last evening with dinner, dessert and live music.

Among The Runes...

I have used runes as a prayer oracle for many years. I first discovered them in 1979 and became most familiar with them through Ralph Blum's book, The Book of Runes. I have always felt more connected to runes than any other oracle. For me, an oracle can be any symbol in the outside physical world that serves to aid us in our connection with the Divine. Maybe it is the 'Western' origin of runes. The Norse Peoples used them. Maybe it is the physical weight of them in my hand as I prepare for the cast. I am one with the runes. OOhhhmmmm!

Today's rune for my day is:



Othel is a rune of possessions and represents them in a monetary form such as homes, cars, and pieces of land. When it appears in a cast concerning money matters, it usually means that money will come to you in the forms of gifts or inheritance. It means a strive for ideals or a strong desire to achieve a vision that has been on your mind for a long time. It warns against being consumed with money in a negative cast. And as a rune of possession, it can signify traits that may be inherited by other family members.

Reversed-Othel is a warning against the temptations of haste. It warns to slow down and evaluate the situation from all sides. It is a strong indicator of delays or personal obstacles that need time to be overcome. It can also signify that money and possessions should not be the way you base your life and can indicate the coming of a situation that you can't buy your way out of.

July 10, 1999

I know now that it was the beginning, although at the time all I could realize was the demise of it all. I remembered the evening before.

I clicked off my cell phone. The shadow descended completely now, blanketing all light within me, stirring up the early visions of suicidal thoughts that would threaten to take my life over and again in the next few hours. I knew I had to go.

“Kids,” I spoke to my two children, “Something has come up that I must do. You will have to stay here at your mom’s. Now.”

I had pulled into the driveway as my cell phone had rung. It was a Friday and I was spending the day with my kids. We had dropped by their mother’s home to get a few things when I took the call. Now, I was instructing them to stay hear. I know now that everything within them wanted to challenge my sudden change of plans, but the tone in my voice must have told them that I would not be altered from my course. I saw fear in their eyes, fear for me.

The call was from my District Superintendent. I had been serving as a pastor for 15 years and during the past few years had become actively addicted to prescription pain medications. For a while, I had been able to get a supply from my doctor for chronic pain in my shoulder and back. But as my usage increased and my tolerance for the medications grew, I needed more and more. After a car accident about a year earlier, I had been given even stronger medication. I liked it. When I took those little pills, all of the pain went away. All of the pain, not just the physical pain, but the emotional pain and fear that had been haunting me all of my life left and I felt good, very good. Until one morning, when I awoke and felt sick, washed out. I took my pills (by then three times the prescribed amount) and the sickness left. From that day on, I could not live without them.

Things got worse. More...

The Equation for God?!

just found this over at Vita. some things need no comment!

Tick Goes The Clock

I've added an amazing little clock/calander here at Theophany. Is it helpful, cute or just bothersome?

Re-post 2

I found another one that was lost, but now found. Heh. Guess that makes it the prodigal post. This one was a story written in response to a blogger/friend's post. More...

Oh! The Weather Inside is Frightful..?

Karen did it, so I did, too!


Sunny


What type of weather element are you? (With pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

Lost in Space?

The absence of last week's posts is not due to lack of blogging on my part, but rather the absence of backup on my server's part. In short, the posts are gone. I have managed to reclaim one of them below, but I'm not sure if I saved any of the others. --sigh--

Re-post 1

I posted this first on June 30th, 2003.

Server problems resulted in loss of post and comments...


Write for ten minutes, beginning with the following sentence: “I’d often thought I’d like to watch a spider spin his web from start to finish; now I had little choice.”

I’d often thought I’d like to watch a spider spin his web from start to finish; now I had little choice. I could feel the throbbing in my leg, and as I shifted my weight was reminded of the restraints that held me here, bound in this bed, tilted on my left side, staring out of the window. The spider had arrived a few moments ago and begun his web. I watched and sighed.

“Why me,” the thought came to me again as my mind drifted back to the events of last week.

“Theo, come here,” Erin’s voice called from the base of the old oak tree.

Erin and I were best friends. We had been since elementary school, and here we were, now in our twenties wandering the old wooded lots behind what remained of Beachwood Elementary.

“I still can’t believe they are going to tear down the school, Erin. I mean Beachwood has always been there,” I commented as I arrived beside her at the foot of the old oak tree.

“I can’t believe it is still here,” Erin remarked.

“I know. Look up there,” I pointed to the gnarled branched above our heads.

The planks of wood still spanned the distance between the branches. I remembered the many times we came running through these woods and scampered up the tree to our “fort.” There we had talked about all of life’s great topics: girls, boys, teachers, parents, and high school.

Erin put her hands on one of the short boards that still remained nailed to the tree, making a ladder up to the fort. She took hold of the board and pulled. It held. Erin looked over her shoulder at me and smiled.

“Come on,” she teased, and began scampering up the side of the tree.

“No way!,” I exclaimed and continued, “I am twice your size. We aren’t 90 lb kids anymore, Pixie!”

I always called her Pixie when I wanted to point out that I was about twice her size. Erin was always a small, thin girl. Today was no different, although, she had shaped up nicely over the years. It is amazing what breasts and a firm butt can do to transform a twig of a girl into a beautiful woman. She laughed from her lofty position in the branches overhead.


--ten minutes up--